Love is War
by Shampain-san
Summary: I just had a vision and i had to write it immediately. a dying man, his last words and his sobbing lover...an angst. enjoy your crying. / i don't own the cover image.


I would like to thank my dear Rikku-chan who made an adjustment to this story and eliminated all the mistakes (since english is not my first language, i don't always manage to express things as i want to).

This story is based on a song named "love is war" by vocaloid kaito (nodoame version; it really touched my heart as it's very emotional) and i actually cried while writing it.

Well, enjoy your reading!

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_It's an irritation with nowhere to go_

The sound of thunder crashed over their heads like a fierce battle, accompanied by the horrible banging of the blue artillery drums.

_The difference in our love_

Rain poured down in torrents, running down their hair and faces, soaking their backs. Their green coats did not provide any protection and the Wings of Freedom seemed to have no meaning at all.

_The dark blue sky, the angle of the particles of light_

They knew this moment would come, knew that they would have to face it. Yet blinded by insane happiness, they pushed away the terrible truth as far as possible, forgetting how fleeting their happiness truly was.

_The sun is sinking, the sound of machines echoes faintly_

He couldn't imagine a life without him. Not now. Not when he loved him so immensely.

He squeezed his hand, a hand that had always been chill to the touch, was now as cold as ice.

He leaned over his beautiful face, as his head rested in his lap. His white skin was decorated with scarlet that was marvelous, but also fatal.

_The world runs wild; even so, will I still love you?_

The blue eyes speckled with gold that were looking at him were slowly fading. They looked at him as if they wanted to see him, only him and no one else before he goes to the land of darkness. Black hair matted with water, blood, and a layer of dust from the dirt stuck to his angelic face. Streaks of bright red liquid flowed out of his mouth and wounded forehead.

_It's perfectly clear_

The sounds of continuous battle, the heavy footsteps of murderous giants, and the screams of dying soldiers faded into nothing more than background noise. They were of no importance. Nothing was more important in that moment than the sound of his weak breath and the sight of his frail body covered with rust-colored blood. He pressed his hands desperately to him, as if he could cure his wounds just by willing it to be so. This body that had always been victorious, invincible in his eyes, now lay still on the soaked muddy ground, weak and broken.

_But how can I send this signal to you?_

However there was one weakness, one fatal weakness that led him straight into damnation. A weakness that he decided to protect to such an extent that he was willing to die for it.

_What an idiot I am!_

And that weakness was his beloved, a young man with chocolate hair and emerald eyes.

_I'LL PROTECT YOU!_

A pale hand reached up to shakily stroke his cheek, smearing it with the same color that stained his hand. Crimson, the color of death.

_THIS IS WAR!_

He didn't cry. Although he knew that his time was up, not a single tear fell from his lovely eyes. He was such a couragous and strong man, that not even the thought of death frightened him. However the green-eyes of his lover, whose face hovered above his own, shed tears so copious that he couldn't tell the difference between them and the rain.

_Just seeing you so hurt..._

"No...no...no...no...no!"

He didn't want to go on without him. He had no such intention. It would be an everlasting nightmare. There was no place in this world for him alone. He could only survive with him; at his side. No where else.

"No, no, no, NO!"

_Losing my head over love is a sin_

He was determined like never before. With a trembling hand, he reached into his right shoe, where he kept his extra hunting knife.

_I'll make you understand I can't stand to be apart from you_

He held the knife at his chest, the wickedly sharp blade pointed directly at his heart. He was ready. He felt no fear. This was the only way they could be together again. A sudden flash of lightning illuminated the entire forest meadow.

_The voice I shouted with is weak_

"No...Eren...don't..." the black-haired man grabbed the knife with his last ounce of strength and snatched it from his lover's shivering hands.

_However loudly I yell, it probably won't reach you_

"Don't...do it...ever...Eren...look...at me..."

Eren obediently lowered his green eyes to him, and he could see the hysteria reflected in them. Eren wanted to tear his chest open with his own fingers and pull his heart out. He was desperate. He didn't want him to go away. He couldn't go away, he couldn't, he couldn't, he couldn't! He felt like he was slowly losing his mind.

But then_ he_ suddenly smiled.

_Ah, day will break before I know it; I wish time would stop_

"You have to...live...Eren...you understand? You have to live, for fuck's sake...I saved you...because I want you to...keep on...living..."

"No! That's impossible!", his green eyed lover argued, putting his face close to his. He kissed his forehead, his cheeks, his lips. "I'm not going to live without you! If you're leaving, I'm coming too!"

Raucous laughter spilled from cold bloody lips.

"You're still...such a kiddo...you know...nothing..."

_I can't tell you how I feel, how can I, what should I..._

Eren was gripping the side of his face like a drowning man would clutch a branch protruding out of a steep bank. He was sobbing.

"All I know is that I love you, do you hear me?! And I'm not letting you go! Don't leave me...don't you leave me!"

He was like a little child who had gotten lost in the crowd and didn't know where his mother was.

_Even my hand won't reach you; I can only watch_

"Eren...I've never...loved anyone... as I love you...I'm so glad...that I had the joy...to meet you...and that you loved me... just as much...thank you...Eren..."

He was fading. He was fading faster and faster. His voice was getting quieter, his breathing was shallow and difficult.

_I'LL PROTECT YOU – THIS IS WAR!_

"Eren...I beg you...keep on living...live without regrets...fight bravely...kill all the titans for me...save this world...and end your life...falling asleep as an old man...in your own bed...in a small house...by the ocean..."

_We don't have time to choose a way, to show you how our love is different_

"No...no...no...no...!"

_I'll defend you to the end_

"Eren...promise me that."

"No, no, I won't!"

"Please...let me...pass away...in peace...promise me..."

"No, I can't do it, I..."

"Eren..." Rivaille whispered, reaching up and pulling Eren's grief-stricken face towards his. He kissed him gently on his chapped wet lips. The last kiss.

_Prepare for a final attack_

He knew that was the end. He shied away from that promise, but it was the only thing he could do in that moment. He loved him so much he was willing to promise him that. He gathered himself. Yes, he could live without him, just for the sole reason of giving him eternal peace.

_There's no end to this battle yet_

"All right, I...I promise... I promise that I will live as you say."

He smiled again. His eyes shone with tears of happiness as he spoke his last words.

"Eren...I will always... be with you...remember that...Eren..."

_Love is war_

With his name on his lips he gave his last breath. He passed with a smile on his face, as if he was seeing something incredibly beautiful. Something beyond human comprehension, like he was finally taken to paradise.

_Love is war_

The chocolate haired man howled with agony, pain gripping his heart like an iron vice. He cried over his lover's body, for what seemed like hours, the rest of the world holding no meaning for him. Then after pulling himself back together he carried Rivaille's unmoving body to a safe place, under the roots of a giant tree. After the battle he would return, to give his beloved a proper burial.

_Love is war_

He went towards the epicenter of the fight, with his 3D equipment ready to go. His face was smeared with blood and a thick layer of dirt that the rain just couldn't wash away. His eyes were ablaze with the fire of revenge, his will to survive more determined than ever before.

_Love is war..._

For him, he would live. He would fight and live to the absolute fullest, until the day comes that they will be able to be together again.

_...until this song reaches you._


End file.
